Part I

“I’m trapped in a town where no one understands, because I am a man who wants to be with another man.”

I.

My name is Richard O’Neil and I have lived my childhood wondering what it would be like to be with a boy. I am 19 years old and my parents cannot accept the fact that I am gay. They think if I was supposed to be with a man God would have made it acceptable in the bible, that it is a sin to be a gay man. But I think differently, I think you should follow your heart and be who you want to be. Ever since I expressed the feeling of wanting to be with a guy the people in my small town of Gale, Idaho have shunned me. I was an all around athlete, every girl wanted me and every guy wanted to be me, but that all changed when I told a close friend I that I might be gay. He then told my coach who cut me from the football team, and made sure I wasn’t on any other teams. This hurt my chances of a good education in college. I was angry, outraged, I mean here I was the best athlete this town had to offer, I was good at everything, yet no college would accept me because I was gay. Every person, except my best friend, Daniel, has treated me differently. Daniel is the only person I can trust in this screwed up world. I first met him in the sixth grade we weren’t really close friends I was friends with his more athletic brother Ike. I told Ike and he told our coach and all that happened. I turned to Daniel and we’ve become best friends, though he is not gay and I can trust him with everything. We live together and he has no problem with me bringing my boyfriends around. He encourages me to go out and meet people who can understand me, because sometimes he can’ t fully understand what I’ m going through. So through his encouragement I met this guy, his name is Jason. We’ d been together for seven months. He is really nice but he does drugs. I have tried to get him to stop but he doesn’t, and it has turned into a problem.

“You never used to have a problem with me shootin’ up!”

“ I have always had a problem with it, I just never said anything. But now you have gone too far! Doing it in front of my daughter!”

Yes, I have a daughter, she is two years old, her name is Brianna, and she is the product of me trying to hide the fact that I was gay, but I still love her. She is my only child.

“ Well send the damn kid to her room!”

“ No this is her home, and she would like to watch TV in the living room.”

“ I don’ t care what the kid wants send her to her room let her watch the walls.”

At this point Brianna was crying.

“ Shut up!”

And just like that he slapped her, slapped my little girl to the ground.

“ Get out! Get the fuck out of my house! And don’ t you ever in your pathetic life put your hands on her again!”

“ You know what Rick; I don’ t think we should see each other anymore.”

“ Good I don’ t want to see you anymore!”

Daniel had just walked in.

“ What’ s goin’ on?”

He sees Brianna crying with a welt growing on her face.

“ Did you hit her!?”

“ I did. So what.”

“ Daniel, he was just leaving.”

“ No I wasn’t.”

“ Why not!? You need to leave! You are a pathetic loser who does nothing but spend his money on drugs! You are already gay; you have no room for any other problems!”

“ Fuck him and fuck you! I’ m outta here!”

“ Good!”

And just like that Jason was gone, and at that moment I don’ t think I cared. I thought he was a good person, but I guess not. He was a jerk, an asshole.

 

*Disclaimer*All events stated are purely fictional and any similarity with anyone’s actual life is coincidental.